We are our own worst enemy. Am I right? I know you are shaking your head yes. So often we think of our enemies as the critics and nay-sayers, those who stand against us. What if I told you the most relentless opponent we face is our own mind. In the center of it all is our worst enemy….fear. Fear of failure, of judgement, of the unknown. Our mind is trying to protect us but it creates the most harm. The root cause of fear is the bodies response to perceived harm. Don’t get me wrong, if there is a lion chasing me, I would hope that fear would get my fight or flight in motion because obviously it’s a genuine danger. It’s not something I want to dictate every decision or step I take. When the fear sneaks in, the self doubt begins to grow. We are told that with age comes wisdom. But it also brings fear and self doubt. A heavy kind that quietly whispers am I too old, did I lose my chance?

     Self doubt doesn’t magically disappear when we grow older. On the contrary, it creeps into our lives, uninvited, more than ever. With all the changes we face as we grow older, we tend to lose confidence in who we really are. Do I still matter? Am I capable? Am I relevant? It leaves more questions than answers. So how does it show up in our lives?

·      Overthinking-the act of repetitively worrying about the same thing usually with negativity.

·      Downplaying achievements-making things less important than they are

·      Avoidance of new challenges

·      Clinging too tightly to the familiar

·      Self-talk- that inner voice we know and love (insert eyeroll). The one that lets us know we aren’t good enough, not capable, too old and so on.

      Why does self-doubt grow stronger as we age? Many reasons. As we age, the role we play in our life changes. The uncertainty of who we are creates doubt. The comparisons become louder being fed by social media leaving us with a feeling of being left behind. The more obvious reasons are physical and cognitive. Small things like forgetting where you put something or feeling weaker can create negativity. Time feels shorter and moves faster and the dreams not realized makes us believe if not now then never.

      Now the million-dollar question, how do we overcome the fear and doubt to create a life full of peace and fulfillment?

·      Redefine Success- What matters to me most now? It’s probably not what you thought of as success back in your younger day. Maybe it’s finishing a degree, learning a new language, exploring the country, spending more time with friends.

·      Challenge the “too late” myth- One of my inspirations is Ernestine Sheperd. A woman who in her 50’s decided to take control of her life and entered her first body building competition at 71. You’re never to old to start.

·      Self-compassion-Talk kind to yourself. Negative talk only paralyzes you. Treat yourself the way you would a friend. Kind and compassionate.

·      Keep on moving- Literally and figuratively. Exercise is a good thing both physically and mentally. Learning is a must whether a new skill, traveling or trying something new you’ve always wanted to try. Here’s a piece of advice for you. Even if you aren’t any good at whatever it is, who cares. It doesn’t matter.

·      Surround yourself- keep your circle full of people who love and support you, who will challenge you and inspire you. It doesn’t have to be a huge circle. As we age, our circle shrinks, just fill it with good people.

      Learning to love ourselves is a challenge at any age but as you grow older it becomes harder to overcome the doubts and fears. One thing we need to realize is that we have more experience and knowledge than the younger generations. We have adapted to all the changes that have come our way. We have survived all the tough days behind us and grown stronger because of it. Just because we are older doesn’t mean we are lost. Keep learning, keep loving and keep searching for that peace you long for. We can evolve because every day is a choice we make. We can listen to the doubts and negativity or we can hear that voice in our head that says you are amazing and you got this!

      It’s never too late! It never was! Your next chapter is waiting, make it amazing because you’re ready for it and you deserve it!

Peace and Love ❤️